The term 'coping' is used to describe an individual's ability to deal with adverse situations. A 'coping mechanism' is often illustrated as being a knee-jerk reaction to an adverse event that has the unconscious intention of protecting an individual from harm. On the other hand, 'coping strategies' are often characterized as being a more thought-out and consciously implemented method of dealing with adverse situations. I myself use the term 'coping' all the time, often in the context of an individual's progress in fortifying themself against the challenges of every day life.
Developing coping skills is very important. There is a lot in life that we can't control and it is important to learn to cope and manage undesirable events that are beyond the sway of our actions.
It is obvious that there is quite a bit that is (ordinarily) beyond the sway of our actions. Examples include the death, illness, others' actions (i.e. bullying or criticism), or being fired from a job. Of course one could argue that one does have a certain amount of impact on the aforementioned life circumstances, but for the purposes of argument, let us consider extreme cases in which individual actions can do nothing to alter the course of events. So, to rephrase, it is obvious that there is quite a bit that is (ordinarily) beyond the sway of our actions, to a certain extent.
How much of what we label as 'beyond the sway of our actions' is properly characterized as such? In other words, when does coping stop and complacency begin?
To choose an example that is close to my heart: The state of popular media and the way that it dictates what the ideal standard of beauty is. If someone is physically disabled, older, dark-skinned, larger-bodied, hairy, or exhibiting of any other characteristic that isn't lauded as desirable in our world, should this person develop 'coping strategies' to deal with the fact that they don't compare to the standard of beauty?
Or another example: The fact that the world we live in is made for able-bodied individuals. If someone is physically disabled, should this person develop coping strategies to deal with the fact that the world is typically not made for them? Should they develop coping strategies to deal with the fact that a large part of cultural life will be inaccessible to them for the rest of their lives?
Or, should these people demand an alternative? Does coping in some instances mean complacency? Shouldn't we expect so much more from society? When is it appropriate to, rather than trying to fit oneself into a societal mold, break the mold entirely by refusing to try to fit in in the first place?
Of course, complacency is not always chosen - in such instances, coping is necessary. Furthermore, people in positions of privilege (based on gender, race, sexual orientation, ability, SES, etc.) have more freedom to be subversive and mold-breaky than their less privileged counterparts. However, people with less privilege are often the ones who are being forced to fit into a societal mold that does not contain a space for them, and they're often the ones who would benefit most from a mold-breaking in the first place. Hmmmm. Coincidence?
I am beginning to think that we are led to believe that there is more out our control than there actually is. I am beginning to think that we are being encouraged to cope in instances where smashing would be far more appropriate.
