The word passion, in the Romantic sense (and not romantic as in flowers and chocolates, but Romantic as in moodiness, demons, and emotion over reason), refers to an all-consuming feeling; being overwhelmed. There is a self-destructive edge to the word, which itself sounds so much like the bite of a knife blade or the hiss of an igniting fire.
Passion.
In colloquial terms, we often characterize passion in a much more banal and pale sense. We talk about passion as being synonymous with love or even affinity. But passion is so much more than this. Passion contorts. Passion harms. Passion consumes like fire with a brightness that eclipses reason and forethought.
And yet, passion is sanctioned, even celebrated, in society. We yearn for it. We try our best to cultivate it. We describe the leaders in any field as having passion, and often view it as a requisite for success.
What is the difference between passion and addiction?
Like passion, addiction consumes. Like passion, addiction can make people willingly harm themselves in order to go just that little bit deeper, to get that little bit closer. Dancers dance until their bodies break. Musicians lock themselves in rooms until their records are complete. Programmers spend every waking minute in front of too-bright computer screens, trying to solve problems no one has even considered formulating. Artists and scientists of all kinds push away the ones they love and alienate themselves, all in the name of their craft or work. And of course there is a physiological component to passion, a rush of endorphins and neurotransmitters, the body's endogenous psychoactives.
Perhaps the notion of passion as distinct from addiction comes from characterizing passion as something that someone can share with others. In this sharing, the object of passion becomes something beautiful. The suffering inherent in passion gains meaning that can be appreciated extrapersonally. The dancer performs his piece to a loving audience. The musician releases her album to the world, bearing her heart and soul in a way that would not otherwise be socially acceptable. The programmer creates a piece of technology so revolutionary that it will change the way of the world as we know it.
But the addict is alone, even when surrounded by peers, even when sharing his passion with others.
What is the object of passion for the addict? What is the end game of the addiction? Is there something to be performed, something to be released to the world? Something beautiful to behold after so much suffering?
Perhaps passion is object-directed addiction. The object of passion can be shared with the world, cathected, purged. Passion burns around the core until the final result is pure carbon, a diamond. But for the addict, the passion burns and burns until it burns everything away.
