how do we engage in critical discourse with the willfully ignorant?

It hurts my brain to think that there are still people in this world who do not acknowledge the existence of racism, sexism, or any other systematic prejudicial institution.

You know the type.

"Feminism is bad for men! Why do you think men have to fight so hard for child custody?"

"People can be racist against white people too!"

"Feminists want superiority, not equality."

"I'm fine with gay people, I just don't want to see them being gay."

"I just don't see colour. We live in a post-racial world. I mean, Obama."

Now, there's a difference between people who are ignorant because of circumstance, and people who are willfully ignorant. There was a time in my life when I was ignorant of and oblivious to certain societal issues, and I'm sure that there are many more that I am currently oblivious to. But whenever I hear someone from a marginalized group tell me that my behaviour is problematic, I damn well listen. It's hard, and I feel like an asshole, but I know that it's the right thing to do. And it doesn't matter if I disagree or don't understand. Given the certain facets of privilege that I enjoy, obliviousness is built into the nature of who I am. It takes someone who doesn't enjoy a facet of privilege to point out that privilege in the first place. 

It's the people who flatly deny their privilege that make me want to tear my hair out. 

And they're everywhere.

How the hell are you supposed to engage with these people? Goddess knows that it's not the responsibility of marginalized groups to educate the majority, because it's frustrating and hurtful and can be very traumatizing. So who is responsible for educating them? Are they even educable? If they're so willfully ignorant, what's the point? Do we just give up, for the sake of our own sanity?

Hell no.

Yes, it's frustrating. Yes it can be fruitless to try to engage in debates with people who are so committed to wearing blinders. But all the same, I think it's important to stick to our guns. 

Of course, there's a time and a place. Getting in a tweeting war with an internet troll is probably not going to do anything other than make you want to vomit (preferably on the troll in question). Nor will it likely be worth your while getting into a shouting match with a white-hetero-cis-abled-male-etc about how the fact that they've experienced hardship does nothing to take away from the fact that institutional power structures exist. 

But there is a lot of middle ground between beating your head against a wall and giving up. Disengaging from a conversation does not mean disengaging from an issue. Just because you back away from a fruitless (and potentially damaging) conversation does not mean that you're a traitor to your causes. 

The most important thing is that we don't shut up in the grand scheme of things, that we keep talking about it, that we weave critical discourse into the very fabric of our lives, and not let one instance of willful ignorance do anything to dampen our convictions. 

Practice personal safety, count every victory, lean on your allies, and never let anything put your fire out.