primacy vs. decency: a question of balance

It's a concept that's had many iterations in psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. 

We see it in psychoanalysis in the war between the id, aspects of the ego, and the superego. We see it in dual-processing theory of mind that, with support from neuropsychology, explains the internal conflict between human motivations as the reciprocal relationship between System 1 (the instinctive, interactional aspect of consciousness whose actions are solicited by the environment) and System 2 (the hypothetically-capable, computational aspect of consciousness that allows for consideration of the possible). We see it in Hobbes' social contract theory and the need to sacrifice certain freedoms in order to live in harmony with others. We see it in Buddhism, which in its Four Noble Truths explains the cause of human suffering as Dukkha, the inherent desire that the ego has for something other than what it has, and includes in the Path of Liberation from Dukkha the imperative to behave decently towards others and to practice discipline. 

Primacy vs. Decency. The will to put one's own needs and desires over the needs of others, and the mandate to consider the needs of others when making decisions. 

In different societies in the world the consideration of the collective and the goals of the individual hold different respective weights. In Japan, for instance, the needs of the collective are held to be of greater importance than the needs of the individual. Regardless of the relative weight primacy and decency, they are widely recognized to be in mutual opposition.

Being animals, perhaps primacy is written in our neurons. The drive not just to survive, but to feel good, to do well and to succeed, whatever that may look like. Perhaps even the drive to dominate is wired within us, which is why we require laws to be enforced upon us by governing bodies.

I try to maintain the faith I have in people. I am lucky to know a great deal of wonderful people who hold the good of their loved ones, perhaps even the good of humanity as a whole, as a high priority in their thoughts and actions. Sometimes it's hard in this world to think that people are inherently good, because there is a lot of evidence to the contrary. But sometimes something so blindingly brilliant will happen and my heart will swell with love because someone has done something so wonderful for someone else, simply because something inside them told them to. 

I've asked myself many times and in many different ways, what is the inherent nature of humans: is it primacy, or decency? History and certain writings and learnings across cultures will have us believe that it is primacy, and that decency is something that is imposed upon us. But I don't know if this is true. Does primacy necessarily entail disregard for others? Does decency necessarily entail self-sacrifice? 

This question of balancing my own self-interest and the imperative that I feel to help others is something that is central in most of my thoughts and actions. I was raised with the idea that our purpose of life as humans is to leave the world better than it was when we entered it. But I also want to suck as much experience out of this life as I possibly can, just for me and me alone. 

Carving out this balance between primacy and decency is the work of my life, I feel. I walk that line every day and I constantly feel the gravity of each pulling me in both directions at once.