Foraging for Roots and Grubs

"I think this is an alarming trend, Bethany, this whole 'passionate' thing. I'm guessing it started about four years ago and it's driving me nuts. Let's be practical: Earth was not built for six billion people running around and being passionate about things. The world was built for about twenty million people foraging for roots and grubs." 
- from The Gum Thief, by Douglas Copeland


Sometimes that whole foraging for roots and grubs thing sounds kinda nice.

I mean, it's so daunting; creating and cultivating a life that's worthwhile, fun, fulfilling, meaningful. Finding occupations you can feel passionate about and riding that wave until death takes you over the edge. But it shouldn't be. Daunting, that is. Should it?

The prospect of finding a career path that satisfies you to your core - this is the mandate of my generation. We travel in the wake of our parents' seemingly foolproof axiom: Work hard and you can do anything you want to do. Is this something they truly believe for us, or is it something that they wanted for themselves? Is there a place for this ethos in the modern [Western] world?

I am at a transitional period in my life currently, and historically, I have not been too good about keeping healthy during transitional periods. So I'm keeping a close eye on myself. 

In just under a month I start graduate school. I stumble forward with the reckless energy of a nearly-fumbling flow-state. I use positive self-talk daily and give myself pep talks in the mirror, "You can do this, you've got this, just work hard and you can do it, difficult is not impossible," willing my cognitive faculties to tame the anxiety in my chest. The future sucks me in and I follow with a perfect mix of excitement and apprehension.

My mission is to carve out a path that encompasses all of my desires. I want to run around being passionate about everything that I can - my career, my relationships, my world, my next meal, my next sentence. I must be supremely naive or supremely ambitious - or somewhere in between. I suppose that this blog is a public record of my attempt at figuring this out. 

I feel so gargantuanly (is that even a word? spellcheck does not seem to think so) self-centred for writing this and putting it on the internet. But what the hell. Perhaps someone will find it amusing/helpful.